It's All Relative...

I’ve been thinking about how relative things are. This week has been a little tough and one day in particular was a bit rough for me physically. I felt pretty under the weather and my boss even commented that I didn’t look good. But, I made it through the day and came home – rundown, tired, and ill-feeling. I had to stop to rest a couple of times, just to allow my blood pressure to stabilize after standing up too quickly. Nonetheless, I had made it home without passing out or even coming too close to it.

As I entered my apartment, my roommate asked me how my day was and I said, “It wasn’t my best day,” and went directly to bed. As I was lying on my bed, however, after having taken off my shoes and gently setting my bag down, I realized that I was wrong. A month ago, I actually would have considered this one of my best days - a day when I didn't crash land on the platform of the metro or at an awkward angle on my apartment floor or bed. This was a day when I had the strength and energy and wherewithal to take off my shoes and coat after arriving home, rather than sleeping in them.

Isn’t it amazing how things are so relative? And how quickly we take for granted the very circumstances that, in another time and place, filled us (or would have filled us) with immense joy and gratitude? How quickly we begin to whine and complain about something that, viewed from a different perspective, would be considered a grand blessing?

At first, my pondering led me to conclude that it's all relative. That everything is relative. But as I lay there longer, I realized that, in fact, everything is not relative. There are definitely some absolutes. It's how we perceive and contextualize absolutes, facts, and occurrences that introduces a sense of relativity.

So, moving forward, I hope I will be able to keep a broader perspective, recognize the blessings that come, and enjoy them in every and any context.

In the meantime, I am so grateful that my bad days now are not nearly as bad as my good days were a few weeks ago.

Attitude of Gratitude

I know it's so cliche to write a post about gratitude on Thanksgiving, but cliche or not, I think it's important. It always helps maintain perspective during rough times. And if you write things down, you can always go back and read them when you feel like you are having a hard time coming up with anything new to be grateful for. Of course, given all the amazingness of the world and our lives, we shouldn't have too many of those moments. But, being human, sometimes we do.

Thinking about gratitude reminds me of my mom. She had cancer three times while I was growing up. She was a really strong woman who made difficult choices and tried to maintain a positive attitude even in the midst of her challenges. During her third battle with cancer, she was confined to a bed in a nursing home and was no longer able to do so many of the things she loved.

One day, she decided to start a gratitude journal. Every day, she would make a list of 20 or so things she was grateful for. Her lists were simple, but they were heartfelt. And trying to come up with things to add to the list kept her looking for the silver lining, the positives - despite the trials of the day.

Her gratitude lists included things like: vanilla ice cream, my children, television, friends who visit, a nurse's aide who gave a gentle bath, lilac soap, going outside, fresh air, college football, pain medication, etc. etc.

A few years ago, I was going through a rough time myself and realized that my own attitude was slipping into the realm of the negative. So I took a page from my mother's book, and started keeping a list on my wall. I was amazed at the difference it made in my attitude. As I was walking to or from the metro, or interacting with my colleagues, or just generally going about my daily activities, I found myself looking for things to add to my list when I got home. Sometimes, as I'd be walking home, I'd realize I hadn't come up with anything yet, and I would start to look at the world with new eyes - eyes of gratitude. In so doing, I noticed things I wouldn't otherwise have noticed - like the vividness of flowers in bloom or leaves in fall color, the beautiful gurgling of the little stream I passed, the coolness of the breeze on my cheek, the delighted shriek of children playing on the playground. These were moments of beauty, for which I was grateful, but which might have passed me by altogether unnoticed had I not been focusing specifically on finding something to add to my gratitude wall.

Fortunately, this year, finding things to be grateful for is exceedingly simple. I am so grateful for the good health I enjoy, for my brother and his family, for the chance to play trains with my nephew, for the moments I've been able to hold my little niece as she falls asleep, for strong job prospects (I think I will have a job by the end of next week!), for a car that allows me to travel the 2.5 hours to get to my interviews, for friends and family who are so supportive, for parents who raised me to be responsible and happy, for God who provides me with every breath and every opportunity for growth, for opportunities for growth - painful as they sometimes are.... The list could really go on forever, but my time is limited, so I will have to stop there for now.