So much has happened in the last month and I really need to
get it down on paper. My life has completely turned around. The progress has
been pretty steady since February, with my last serious episode taking place in
early February, but the last couple of weeks have been truly amazing. I feel
normal again. I have good energy, even when I am tired. If I stay up too late,
I end up tired, but not bone weary to the point of incapacitation. And if I lie
down to sleep, I awake feeling better. It is truly a miracle and I feel so
amazingly blessed. Every single day I do things that two months ago were
impossible to me.
A couple of weeks ago I went to California for the half
ironman in which two of my brothers were competing. It was a fun
vacation, with time in a beach house, lots of reading, playing with nieces and
nephews, and just relaxing. It was a good opportunity for me to set boundaries
and listen closely to my body – pushing it some, but not too much.
The very first thing about this trip that struck me was how
different it was from my last trip, which was in November (to the Mayo Clinic).
For that trip, I was barely able to make it onto the plane. It was, in fact,
only by the grace of God and the help of a friend that I did. Holding myself
upright was almost more than I could handle, let alone carrying my luggage.
But getting on the plane to California was a whole different
ball game. I got myself to the airport, wandered around the airport lugging my
carryon and laptop while I was waiting for the flight, got myself onto the
plane, and even lifted my roller bag into the overhead bin. Granted, it was a
bit difficult to do that last part and I ended up checking the bag for the
second leg of the flight, but nonetheless, I was able to do it. It was amazing!
I had the energy and strength to keep going. To talk, to eat, to walk up the
jetway on my own power. I was even able to stand upright while waiting for my
luggage at baggage claim!
Now, I know this probably sounds stupid and most people
can’t really understand my excitement over these small things, but the contrast
from just a few months ago is so amazing that I really can’t even believe it
myself. Everything seems easier and better when compared to just a few months
ago.
From California, I flew to Utah for another week.
The transition to Utah was a bit more difficult, due in part
to the altitude and in part to the extreme exertion on the day before I
traveled, coupled with a significant lack of sleep. My first day in Utah was
pretty miserable and I spent some of it with my head in the toilet. But the
next day I took it easy and within a couple of days, I was fine!
It is truly a miracle!
When I returned home about two weeks ago, I was amazed at
how not exhausted I felt. I had thought I would come home fatigued to the core
and that I would require some time to recuperate. But that was not the case. I
came home feeling good. I’ve been at work every day since and have even started
jogging in the mornings (sometimes) and walking home from work (sometimes).
Four days after I returned, I went for a jog in the morning
before work, showered up, went to the office, worked nine hours, and then
walked home (the long way) from work. It was 4.7 miles!
And last Friday, I went for a (very SLOW) jog in the morning, showered, went to
work, went to dr. appointments, and then walked 5.5 miles home. At the end of
the day I was tired but, again, not incapacitated. I feel like my old self
again!
It’s hard to believe that I am the same person that 3 months
ago could not take a shower in the morning because it wore me out so much that
I could then not make it to work. It’s hard to believe that I am the same
person who often couldn’t walk the couple of blocks to the metro to get to work.
It’s impossible to believe that I’m the same person who, up until just a month
ago, couldn’t walk up a flight of stairs without feeling like I absolutely had
to lie down immediately!
Miracles DO happen!