Goodbye, 2011

Well, as my health has continued to decline, I signed up to visit the Mayo Clinic. I’ve always kind of held them out there as a last resort – a last hope. So it’s demoralizing to feel the need to head that direction so early in my journey. But that’s where I was.

So, I went through the process of being accepted as a patient and had been waiting for months to get there. I was nervous and excited and hopeful and scared all at once. When I arrived though, I was really impressed with their system. It is truly amazing and runs so incredibly smoothly. I wish all hospitals and drs offices ran this way.

After going through a week full of testing and consultation with numerous doctors, there still seem to be more questions than answers. Nonetheless, I am looking forward to putting 2011 behind me and living a healthy and happy 2012.

GPS

A friend of mine recently recounted a conversation she’d had with a friend of hers. They’d been trying to find their way somewhere and had been using a GPS. And they started talking about how when they make a wrong turn, the GPS doesn’t say “Why’d you turn left instead of right, you idiot?” or “Now you’ll never get there.” or “why don’t you ever listen to instructions?” The GPS doesn’t judge. It doesn’t mock. It simply states, in a calm and placid, nonjudgmental voice “Recalculating.”

My friend then went on to compare this to God and how He works in our lives. We’ve come to this earth and have been fitted with a GPS of sorts that is set to our final destination: God. Throughout our lives, we miss turns, inadvertently make wrong turns, and sometimes even willfully disregard instructions. But no matter what, that GPS is still set to God’s location. He hasn’t moved. He won’t move. He will still provide direction. And that will never change. Even if we willfully do exactly the opposite of what we are told to do to return to Him, it does not eliminate the possibility of returning. In other words, just as in mortal life, even if we go left instead of right at every possible juncture, that GPS will continue to recalculate the steps needed to get to our final destination. Which has not changed. I just found this to be such a beautiful and comforting analogy, giving more hope about my own life than I’ve felt in a while.

Another Hug from Heaven

I’m so grateful that fall has arrived. This morning, when I woke up, I looked out the window to see what the weather was like. It was sunny (yes, I slept in) and looked beautiful. But the beauty was intensified by the fact that there was a huge, full rainbow clearly visible (despite the fact that it didn’t really look like rain). I rushed right out and took pictures. I think of them as pictures of promise.

Another hug from heaven.

Hold On Until Fall

My health has continued to decline throughout the summer. POTS is an illness that does not react well to heat and humidity, so this summer has been pretty tough on me. I went to see a specialist a few weeks ago and he gave me a list of things to do to get my condition under control:

• Eat more sodium
• Drink more fluids (not just water)
• Stay cool (literally)
• Keep exercising
• Survive until fall

Sounds like a plan. Fall’s almost here…

Earthquakes, Hurricanes and ERs

Living on the east coast, you normally don’t worry too much about earthquakes. That’s more of a California concern. But this week, imagine our surprise when, at the conclusion of one our meetings at work, the whole building began to shake. We were shocked and not so well trained in identifying the cause of the commotion. Nonetheless, when the fire alarms sounded before the shaking had even fully subsided, we joined the hundreds of others rushing from our office building and into the streets, per our evacuation plan.

As if the earthquake wasn’t enough, I decided to faint while waiting to re-enter the building. Fortunately, all the cell phone circuits were jammed and no one was able to get off a successful 911 call. In addition, my coworkers were fantastic at convincing people I was ok.

I’m sure all the Californians were laughing at us east-coasters…

Of course, in watching the news that evening, I was surprised to learn that another natural disaster was headed our way. This one looked to be more concerning and dangerous and had the ominous name of Hurricane Irene.

Again, Washingtonians pushed the panic button and began to prepare for the worst. Fortunately for me, I already had water and flashlights and batteries and such, so no excursions to the store with hour-long lines were needed.

All week, we looked forward with dreadful anticipation to what Hurricane Irene would bring us.

But I must not have been taking her seriously enough. Because I decided to add one more adventure to my plate on the eve of her arrival. I fainted in a metro station and stopped breathing.

Oops.

This, of course, necessitated a special ride to the nearest emergency room via my personal limo service (aka local ambulance service). And a seven hour stay in the hospital.

To be honest, I was just glad to make it out of this week alive….
And fortunately, in our area, Hurricane Irene didn’t live up to the hype.

The Kindness of Strangers

It’s so interesting to me how very cynical I become in daily life. You listen to the news and 98 percent of it is focused on all the terrible things that happen in the world: crime, abuse, corruption, murder. But I have recently been very touched by the amazing kindness of strangers – to me, to my family, and to each other. Small acts of kindness go a long way, but are seldom recognized.

A few weeks ago, I was on my way to work. It was the typical commute. Except for the fact that all the seats on the subway car I entered were full. Given my propensity for fainting these days, it’s never a good idea for me to stand too long. And on this particular day, I was already feeling quite ill. I had a quick internal debate on whether I should wait for the next train but, as you may know, in the subway system, he who hesitates is lost. So it was a short debate.

I walked to the center of the car, hoping that someone would get off at the next stop and I would get a seat. To my surprise, a gentleman, perhaps noting the concern on my face, offered me his seat. Normally I wouldn’t take it, but as I said, I was already feeling ill and was concerned that I would pass out at any moment. So I thanked him sincerely and took the proffered seat.

What a small, yet amazing gesture of kindness – from someone who doesn’t know me, doesn’t know my story, and probably has no idea the incredible impact he had on me that day!

Making a Difference

I learned something today about making a difference.

It was my day off and I had a million errands to run. Ok, maybe not a million... Nonetheless, I spent a good portion of the day in the car. And my car spent a good portion of the day on toll roads. Being a typical 21st century woman, I was lucky to have any cash on me at all. And coins? Forget it! So I found myself in several long "Full Service" toll lines. The last one was at the beginning of rush hour and was by far the longest line I've ever seen at a toll booth. Hundreds of cars all waiting to hand their cash to one solitary worker, sitting in a sweltering booth.

As I sat waiting, periodically inching my car forward, I was exceedingly grateful for the air conditioning inside the car. And the fact that, for the most part, people were being pretty civil to one another.

Finally I made it to the toll booth. Where I was greeted by a cheerful attendant, who thanked me for my patience, wished me a good day, and hurried me on my way.

As I drove away, I was smiling.

That one person, doing his job, however mundane, with such a cheerful attitude, had an impact on me. He made a difference. He reminded me that we can all make a difference in our own little sphere. It may not be some grand gesture, but even a small thing like a pleasant attitude and a smile can have ripple effects that travel far beyond our immediate sphere.

Tomorrow, I'm going to make a difference.